My wife eats gluten free and dairy free. In the past she's never been able to safely eat anything from the hotel breakfasts when we travel. She ends up having gluten free instant oatmeal that we bring along. Part of the problem is cross-contamination. She is sensitive enough that even if she did something...
If you happen to be going to Eureka Springs, AR, try the Red Bud Manor Inn. It's a bed and breakfast that specifically caters to gluten free diets and other food sensitivities.
Otherwise you could stay in a hotel that does not offer breakfast or only has a continental breakfast, then go out to a nice place for breakfast or brunch. I usually stay in cheaper hotels that have a "continental breakfast" and I just get fruit and coffee because I'm not a big breakfast person myself. Sometimes you luck out and they also have small boxes of a gluten free cereal like Chex.
If your wife is that sensitive: "even if she did something like bring her own gluten-free bread and use the toaster in the kitchen area the crumbs from regular bread would get her sick" then she really can't eat out anywhere - let alone a hotel breakfast. She'll have to stick to bringing her own foods no matter where she goes.
More and more places are introducing "gluten-free" options as it's currently a trendy fad (even though most people don't even know what it means), but for people who actually have a gluten sensitivity as severe as what you describe, even items labeled as "gluten free" are subject to a minimal amount of cross-contamination.
Very few of them have gluten-free options.
Her best bet is to bring her own foods. You can ask the kitchen to send a clean toaster to your room so that she can make her toast without worries from crumbs that could make her sick. Or ask that one of the toasters on the continental table be cleaned.
You can call ahead & ask too.
If it's that much of a worry, she should stay home.
I have food allergies that could send me into anaphalactic shock. I can't eat out anywhere without the fear of something that's an allergen contaminating my food. One fast food restaurant, In & Out Burgers, will clean a grill off & make the food away from the other burgers. Other than that every 3-4 months, I stick to eating at home. It's safer.
4. Nana Lamb
oatmeal does NOT have gluten in it!! NONE of it does!!
Gluten is only found in wheat, rye, triticale, and barley.
I think you should keep your wife at home or she will get really sick! Obviously she cannot eat at any restaurant either! They all toast their breads in the same equipment! They make pancakes and stuff on the same griddles as they fry eggs and sausage/bacon on!!
I avoid any grain product but not because I am celiac but because it is loaded with carbs!!